Tuesday, 29 December 2009

To be or not to be :|

Alright, I am a girl. (And no. this isn’t where I am attempting to prove it). But I don’t really get many things, what girls do. I empathise wholeheartedly when the male species of the earth look absolutely confused because they can’t make the head or tale out of their chic’s behaviour (though I strongly suspect at times they just pretend.) what is with babies and girls? The moment a baby is targeted, some of the girls’ lips will automatically make the I-am-kissable pout. And lo-behold they shall speedily run towards the hapless target. The target shall be captured, brought into arms and showered with weird noisy hugs and the likes, and all the bacteria that entails. I can understand if the nappied chick is one’s relative and all that, but molesting random babies on the road is something that should be blasphemous where human code of conduct is concerned. What if the baby gives you swine flu?


Then there is the Big Soft Toy dilemma. And I just mean the pink teddy bears and the likes. Again these things make people emit weird sounds in the form of gibberish like baby talks, followed by tall claims in public of sleeping with the thing that is blighted because of excessive human pressure. Of all the XY holding people I know most have gifted or has contemplated gifting teddy bears to their louly lasses, obviously with an ulterior make-me-your-bear motive. And even after the cognizance of the fact that it’s very very difficult to keep them clean, they still survive in the hearts of many ladies. And the larger teddies, the better.


That reminds me of the cleanliness fetish. One spec of dust spotted, and most of my kind are at it. To me everything shall ultimately be dust, so let them be. Let us survive in peace amidst what the earth has created instead of trying to clean up the mess. But I tell you, no one shall ever listen to the great philosopher inherent in me till it’s too late. Anyway, this particular cleanliness fetish takes the form of a mania by the time a person has crossed 30 or has become a mother. I wonder, when I shall be 40, staying alone with a cat in a big mansion after robbing off a millionaire, whether I shall be as disorganised as I am now, or not. I do hope so. Lack of accumulated dust makes me feel somewhat lonely. :|


And the final thing. Clothes. We girls are keen on looking pretty. We take at least some effort for that. The smarter lot does not talk about it 24*7, but some of us unfortunately do. Unless we are busy bugging or suspecting the loves of our lives. It usually starts with complimenting the other person on how pretty she looks, even if she does not. Then it’s sheer business. You negotiate on the shops and whereabouts, know every detail you need and if you have the moolah, you buy a better, trendier version of that ASAP. And that’s how females have highly expandable wardrobes. And that’s how life goes.


I can’t claim that I am absolutely baffled by everything that I have written here, barring the first two points which absolutely baffles me to the highest degree.


P.S: For the people who are showing me the flaming red eye, I say that this is mere generalisation. I did not mean to be offensive. I think. :p

24 comments:

T-REX said...

Lol... I met this girl once and she had a teddy with a name like rancho or sancho or summin. And when I visited her I actually had to say hello to rancho or sancho or summin. It was one of the weirdest moments of my life. I hope nobody recorded me doing that.

T-REX said...

by the way where be the previous post?

skinny.olive said...

there was a similar scene in the movie luck by chance. that girl equalled you with farhan akhtar. be glad :|

i delete serious posts usually after i write a non-serious one :P happened many times before :D

Shahana said...

I agree w/ most of the stuff you just said.
I don't get the deal about the babies or the stuffed toys either.
:|

T-REX said...

@olive..gee i never thot of that. But then Luck by chance hadnt been released by then.

Caveman said...

Ah! My favourite blogger is at it again :D

Dunno why, but this post reminds me of a Burt Bacharach song that goes something like this, “What do you get when you fall in love? A girl with a pin to burst your bubble. That’s what you get for all your trouble. What do you get when you kiss a girl? You get enough germs to get pneumonia. After you do, she’ll never phone you. That’s what you get when you fall in love.”

Hey olive, you’ve got it all wrong. Even us guys are keen on looking pretty these days. Holy Mother Mary!!

P.S. how ‘bout sharing the moolah you intend to rip off from an unsuspecting scrooge of a millionaire, eh? Let’s say in the ratio of 99:1. 99% of the dosh for me and 1% for you. Alright! Alright! we’ll throw in a pink teddy into your share of the loot, to boot. Sounds plenty good to me ;)

olive oyl said...

rex: see, zoya akhtar took a bit of your life in her movie. you are phaaamous maaan :p

caveman: the lyrics is awesome. which band and which song? :| i am not sharing anything with anyone. simple :| huh.

Caveman said...

piggo, why???? :(

the nobel prize deal is still on though, right? :|

olive oyl said...

nobel prize deal is on. how many dealings am i going to have with you eh? :|

Lost within myself said...

funny indeed. after a long time this one came. and I almost stopped looking last few weeks!
keep it up. dunno for whom this written tho ;-)

Ipsita Shome said...

You know girls(generalizing here) just simply love to run their finger down their locks as frequently as possible and grab the chance of looking into the mirror whenever possible even if it's the window glass of a car and the love to wave toodles and they start "ooooh-ing" whenever they see some greek god or the likes.....
Well, the list doesn't end.
And I am glad that I am not indulgent in such habits.

Awesome post! Kudos :)

Smart Primate said...

Finally, a girl who seems to have some grey matter up there... Kudos for the post

olive oyl said...

@primate: i am a staunch believer of female chauvinism by the way. if you call girls dumb, may all the bimbos hit you with rosy pink teddy bears :|

sortingpluto said...

aee, like your post a lot. :D
Let's call a war against the pink teddys

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