Friday, 6 November 2009

Yo man! It's d kewl dude

I have always believed that every big social change gradually creeps in, it’s the icing, the grand finale which is the social revolution. A certain form of malignancy (can also be deemed as entertainement) have been creeping in: the band of ‘cool dudes. It’s only a matter of days till a revolution takes place and they shall rule the world. They are sprouting up in every nook and corner of the city.

1. They wear sunglasses in the dark, occasionally removing it to check out a girl properly. Impractical folks. I have always said that the best way of eyeing a girl without seeming to be vulgar is to look from the corner of the eyes. But no one listens to me.

2. Buttons to the shirt are an extinct fashion statement. Anyone putting them on is clearly making a great fashion faux pas of the highest degree.

3. They have oh-so-godly girlfriends that even make an absolutely normal girl like me salivate. There are plenty of times when I have imagined myself to be this ultra macho girl fighting the hooligans for the sake of protecting the bold and the beautiful.

4. Fluorescent is THE colour. The flashier the better. It’s truly attractive. A flashy disco belt shall put my father’s generation and Mithun Chakroborty to shame. The Disco Dancer cult has returned with reloaded fervour.

5. ‘Yo dude’, pronounced ‘yo dood’ with loads of attitude: possibly followed by a mild pelvic thrust of the Cheeranjeevi type.

6. Their shrill desi citees are absolutely beautiful. I have always tried to master the art myself. Their brains have this automatic nerve centre that directs them to whistle the moment something even remotely looking like a girl passes by. I have this feeling that they do the same, subtly in their mind, when female animals pass by too.

7. They wear these weird and extremely low waist jeans. They have no sense of the gravitational pull and all that it entails, it seems.

8. Their havens are the public transport system. They can cling on any random girl like a stubborn louse, with a vague i-know-nothing look. If the girl scowls, they scowl back as if the girlie scowl has just robbed off their honour as well as that of their forefathers. Anyway perhaps things could have been better if they wore some deodorant.

With these killing looks and attitude, they’ll soon be reigning supreme all over. Bless them, my Lord.


Rohini Prasanth said...

I split my sides laughing..

agree with them all.. especially the low waist jeans.. I have no clue how seeing the hairy butt of a guy and its associated ugly cleavage is sexy!! I find it disgusting. ugh ugh..

celestialrays said...

oh wait what about the 'hair adjusting' and flexing every now and then???
nice list!

Lost within myself said...

nice break after a pause. entertaining as usual...should be posted in any women's magazine..that way most 'kewl doods' would actually get to read it and perhaps be a little more aware!
exam is close. write more!

T-REX said...

And she does it again! The new bestseller by Ms. Chattopadyay (rocket science fame) enumerates the tenets of decorum that young men should follow to rule the hearts of women and yes exactly, the world itself. She prophesies a day when the "kewl Doods" will rule the city streets and assosiated changes in the society and meaning of this change for women. This work is feminism at its hilarious best. Highly recommended.

olive oyl said...

@ rohini: i wholeheartedly agree

@celestial: hair adjusting is something i indulge in too :P so not in the list :P

@lost: trying :|

@ t-rex: i am serious about my warning :|

T-REX said...

yes yes i wanta post dedicated to me. I love it yay!

PS: the word verification for this comment was "prick"

Caveman said...

holy mother of a hairy-assed dood!! i've been laughing for the past 10 minutes and can't get myself to stop!! :D

(...second Ro's observation; don't really understand the 'low waist-hairy butt' deal.)

i see my favourite blogger is at her wittiest best again :)... them 'mithoon-jeevi' doods better watch out ;)
brilliant humour as ususal!!

Plagiarised Soul said...

wat will happen to me?

olive oyl said...

why? you are a beautiful boy :p

Anonymous said...

You are Blogspot's Paresh Rawal :|

You are hereby invited to be a columnist if I ever manage to head a magazine. (this wont happen...u employ me if u head one)

one point which might have been relevant here: the doods do this \m/ every now and then. Some obscure dood literally poked his hand in my eyes doing this \m/. Hate him. Grrrrrrrr.

Love you for this post...
Let's not say amen but Yo for this post(sorry cyril byril)

yetanothersmallvoice said...

loved the piece.. couldn't stop ROFLing!