Tuesday, 20 October 2009

loserville :D

It was nearly midnight. I was desperately seeking the reason behind a particular message that beeped onto my cell phone. She picked the phone and lo behold another voice pried into our conversation. I was overjoyed. I dialled another number. The recipient was perturbed that so many of us were bugging her and was anxious to know the Big Problem. We did it. May be for the first time in our lives we dealt with a telephone conference properly without making series of bloopers. :|

Four girls conversing at midnight. We had a very scientific discussion on the birds and bees and flowers and whatever. The words spoken were punctuated with giggles that would put any hyena to shame, and so it continued...

That’s the story of four losers, who at an age nearing twenty, in this tech savvy time, managed to conduct telephone conferences on the cell phone for the first time. (The remaining losers weren’t present at that moment) No matter what we’ve achieved in life we have not compromised with our loser quotient. We might crib but loser is what we shall remain and that too with √©lan.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

It’s an hour past midnight; I’d definitely like to do certain things in my life that will make me euphoric, not merely happy. Me being me, my limited pragmatism may lead me to scoff these ideas away in the morning. But as of now, this is what I want.

1. Spend a night at Prinsep. A full moon, words spoken or two, the sound of the river, and a sleepy city.

2. Get onto the roof of the tallest building in city which gives a view of Victoria Memorial, Cathedral and the two bridges on the river. Charming.

3. Stand on a buoy on the river, those round things that are perched up there with an anchor. I've always found them to be fascinating.

4. Whooshing past the city on the bridge across the river, on one of those soft roof cars.

There goes my midnight desires. ;)
Goodnight fellow nocturnals. I didn't have anything better to do.

Friday, 9 October 2009

I want a Nobel Prize too.

Okay, let’s be pretty direct. I have slogged hard in this life. Mother says that I had to be given the oxygen the moment I was born so life has been tough for me from Day One. And I demand a Nobel Prize. I have done a lot for the society so I should be given one ASAP (as soon as possible)

1. Soon I’ll be roaring away to twenty (I am almost midway) and I have not puffed the cigarettes even once in my life. A normal addict puffs away to glory minimum 10 per day (according to my father’s statistics) and thus suppose I had started at the age of 15, I would be consuming roughly 365*4*10 cigarettes which amounts to 14600 cigarettes. That equals to 14 mg PM (2.5) emitted per cigarette. Which is 14600*14=204400 mg PM (2.5) so basically I have freed the environment of this big a shit. (Don’t say that buying ciggies would have helped the industry as for the Wise, environment is a bigger issue. Huh)

2. I have given emphasis on Orkutting and the likes, and studies equally (well, almost. Never mind) which is a very very difficult thing to do.

3. I am very thin and therefore people who want to be thin, after seeing me, have started admiring their bulges (well, again, almost)

4. I have resorted to blogging and thus have saved the use of paper. I also communicate with my lovers through emails and scraps instead of wasting paper by writing love letters. Saving trees this way. Also I don’t use pigeons as messengers. Yahoo does the job. See how good I am.

5. I don’t screech or scream and call my forefathers at the sight of lizards, cockroaches etc. I follow the policy of live and let live, lizards find my desk a safe haven. A peace prize for this definitely.

6. I attend all my honours classes in college and bunk most of the pass course classes, thus maintaining a very neat balance. Most people bunk both. Also I managed to be in the good books of the teachers at my school most of the time even though we bluffed to escape in between classes to catch a movie, first day second show. A prize for diplomatic negotiation for this one, shared by my diplomatic compatriots.

7. I also watch movies like Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon and Bewafaa (Google it if you have not heard of these masterpieces) and I can even recall songs and dialogues from these movies a bit. This shows my level of tolerance. Should be awarded for this definitely.

8. I don’t go out of my house much nowadays and therefore that cuts short my travel costs. Thus I am also participating in the Great Austerity Drive with more success than the peeps who are trying to perch on the cattle… err… whatever.

9. I write blogs so that if you have a particular enemy in mind you can tell the bloke to read my blog. The poor soul shall be bored to death and you won’t have to get into the murky deeds of real killing after all, thus preventing crime.

10. Since Barrack Obama got the Nobel peace prize, with my heartiest congratulations to him, us rest folks can happily say “yes we can” too. (By the way, Obama is mind numbingly handsome. HAD to say this.)

P.S: this does not have any political connotation. (my school gang will understand this part :P)

P.P.S: I won't accept any criticism to this post. I want the Nobel. I want it I want it I want it.

Monday, 5 October 2009

Of family values.

It’s an untold rule that one must not study much in college. Class twelve boards was the last Big Thing as they said. If I venture to take out a book my parents glare at me in a manner as if I have just ruined the family reputation with my action. I glare back with a ‘you-guys-are-the-professors’ look and my mother starts chanting about how she enjoyed life in college that included 17 cinema hall shows of Aradhana movie and how they all never let studies interfere in their happening life. My father rants about how he would bunk classes, slipping out from the back door on knees, play table tennis and woo girls along with it, and similar sojourns to the riverside and Botanical Garden. It sounds so dreamy but it’s true. In this family, I am the one more keen on scholastic proficiency than the rest, and my parents and sister categorically chide me for my pedagogic exhibitions. So I have decided to uphold the name of my family, abandon studies for a long while and enjoy life… err… get a life.

Some excerpts from the family jungle:

Me: (hyper-stressed, before class 12 finals) I can’t study nor concentrate and I don’t know what to do. (Whining tone)
Father: Don’t study. Watch the television and relax till you get bored.
Mother: The problem was created by Vidyasagar. He shouldn’t have ensured women’s education. Too stressful for us.

Philosophy teacher to my father: your daughter has not attended my class for a long long time.
Father: (with a proud smile) After all she is my daughter. It’s in the genes.

Me: I got 57 out of 100 in Bengali. (Considering it was the Second Language, that was low.)
Father: (genuine smile) Lovely that my daughter could score so high. I would get around twenty at the most in school and thus I abandoned Bengali after a while.
Mother: Initially bothered as she was superb in Bengali, ends up singing to me: Just chill chill, just chill.

I rest my case.
Off to get a life.