Sunday, 20 September 2009

disaster prevention and management

Love is in the air. With the Durga Pujo coming in, its desi Valentines Day in Bongdom. Ready-to-temporarily-mingle men lurk in every nooks and corners of the idol as equally enthusiastic femme fatales and PYTs manage to play the hide and seek to its full effect. It’s the season of blossoming love affair, surviving for a week, ending on the last day of the Great Bengali Festival itself, truly short and sweet. For all these to come into effect, a man must remain religiously single or else more than half the fun is gone. I mean, it’s necessary because you can’t possibly lech away to glory with full effect if your permanent lady love is adorned on your arm. This is one very Bong reason why a man should stay single.

There are other reasons as well I suppose. Like for example, phone calls. Some girls have this habit (like some boys) of calling the umpteenth number of times and when after a very hard day’s work, the poor man manages to pick up the phone, the silly goat on the other end is all geared up to sulk and brood and accuse and what not. Here is this macho man, all pumped up with unending love for his lady that breaks all barriers of technology and thus does not need a 24*7 bonding network, while the aforementioned silly goat thinks otherwise. On top of that one has to pay to waste time in this manner. Those glorious days of pigeons playing negotiators of lovers (kabutar ja ja ja…) are gone. For real men, its better to stay single than mingle with the goats whose measure of love and et cetera is calculated by the daily phone minutes. Technology has ruined all dil ka connection. The icing on the already stale cake is the constant demand from the whiny dolt as to how many minutes and seconds have the folk managed to miss her. So much of time management is totally and utterly disastrous.

We girls have very intelligent brains so we draw immediate inference from propositions from sheer scientific Aristotelian logic. So if Hunk-A has not called Chick-A, and Hunk-A is not receiving calls from Chick-A on a given particular day, then Hunk-A is not interested anymore in Chick-A. The probabilities of devious Chicks B to Z doing the Hunk stealer stuff increases manifold and Chick-A is left feeling depressed. But the depressed chick may fail to understand that Hunk is probably busy with FIFA or the likes, or watching Messi glide through the stadium or is simply busy snoring or watching weird movies. No common sense, such girls.

There are many more reasons why we sometimes pose as a pain in the posterior, like being unable to understand whatever that can be very simply understood, shedding away tears to glory to achieve ones end, unable to realise the reason why a certain shirt should be worn and not made into floor mops, et cetera. A guy when single, at least till the age of a quarter century, is left without all these burdens that are in essence so heavy on the youthful shoulders. And sans these burdens, not only the Pujo season in Calcutta, but almost all the seasons can be enjoyed with perfect delight.

P.S: There has been no attempt at generalisation in this post. It has been posted with particular people on mind. :p


halcyon said...


who the pepool? hyan hyan?

me vewy interested to know :P

but lovely one!

Shahana said...

even i wanna know..
you're ridiculously hilarious..
but you already know that..

Anonymous said...

Who who who? ;O

Frustrated chicks like me run behind Suhel uncle(no I did not email that Sunday love letter to him). We don't get hunks :-(

Enigmatic Quasar said...

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

P.s. I've been taught to believe the hunk and babe are seriously overrated. The geek is about to inherit the earth any day now.

olive oyl said...

@halcyon: in general to you all my love. but specifically ke/kara pore bolbo :p

@shahana: i know. i am so hilarious that most laugh at me :(

@ipsita: leave the older men alone.

@enigmatic: hunk and babes aren't overrated always. they are simply hot, in most cases.

but i agree, geek is in.

Aditya said...

rofl haha hilarious! I almost thought this post was written by a guy :P. NO dont think I am a male chauvinist :P

//For real men, its better to stay single than mingle with the goats whose measure of love and et cetera is calculated by the daily phone minutes.//
^ I actually laughed out loud at this line.

haha super. Keep writing :D

Lost within myself said...

funny indeed!
College life take bhaloi tule dhorchis to hasate hasate :)

olive oyl said...

@ aditya: was trying to write from a guy's perspective that i truly admire, and in a way apologising to a friend :p

@lost: lets say its also a bit dedicated to you :p

Guria said...

Even there is no generalization in this post, I assure you are bang-on about so many things!! It is not possible that we know the same people, then they must be a common breed! :D

I am from Calcutta too, and I loved your post!! :D

olive oyl said...

even without generalisation certain things are common :p


Anonymous said...

I won't leave the older men :|
I won't go for the young ones...they are mean :P
30 somethings are better :D

Lost within myself said...

thank you :)

olive oyl said...

@ipshita: frust shala :p anyway aim for the roaring rich 30s :p