Sunday, 12 July 2009

mystifying queries of life and all that.

If nothing else, life definitely has an extra dosage of question and answer till you hit 30 after which the hyper-curious hormonal blobs seem to finally comprehend the red signal. Not that I am chastising others. I am as curious as these fellows, just smart enough to keep my mouth shut on some occasions. Though the difficulty level of the questionnaire pattern gets higher as one proceeds up in the age-ladder till its time for the person to don the hat of the quiz master himself, us young mortals standing with shaky hairy legs on the precipice of teenagehood aren’t spared either. It’s not the aunts and uncles but also one’s compatriots, compromised in the same position. I don't mean to say that I dislike such things, considering the fact that I bombard them at times too :p The questions range from embarrassing to questions that are utterly mystifying where hunting for the reason is concerned:

1. Do you have a boyfriend? (I dislike the terminology.)
Depends on whom you classify as a boyfriend. No I have eight male consorts whom I replace every month keeping the quota for married people constant as young souls like my get a boost in the matter of the hearts where older men are concerned.

2. What are you planning to do after college?
I intend to get married after giving ad in the matrimonial or allowing my parents to bribe a male thing into marrying me and then shall be solely concerned with knitting, sewing, cooking and mild population explosions.

3. Why do you want to study history and not English honours?
Oh it’s very simple I am too good in English and I know everything so I needn’t study that. I am studying history to further intellectualise myself so that I can impress the bribed folks who’ll be my in-laws.

4. How are the boys in your college? (Cheesy grin).
Where? What? Is this a co-educational institution? I didn’t notice.

5. Why won’t you sit for the IAS examination after college?
That’s because I am too intelligent to study for that.

6. Why are you so thin?
Thank god you said that. I am dieting. Does it show? Pretty please tell me. I’ll be so happy (gasping for breath in excitement.)

7. What do you want to become in life?
An owner of a male harem with men wearing skimpy clothes. I’ll throw one rupee notes as they shall dance like Rakhi Sawant.

8. What have you done with your boyfriend? (Sleazy grin or glaring eyes.)
I only have a male consort. (Rest of the answer is censored.)

9. Have you studied for the examination?
Yes and I am expecting nothing less than 100 percent in the result. I am great.

10. The best one of the lot: Why do you blog?
Hmm. I see. Hmm.

P.S: Merlin humbly and unknowingly provided what the college couldn’t. Thank you, old friend. May you find all the answers to your SQCA.

29 comments:

Ann Dee said...

I know a Olive Oyl too...and if you're the one, I have to say you made my jaws slack girl..

Since you seem to be anon, this is Nidarshana..

Write back if it was a bang on...

T-REX said...

Hey , hilarious. I can add a lot more. But the infuriating thing about these stupid questions is that you are supposed to answer them.
By the way write on.

olive oyl said...

@ rex: i love the questions though because they challenge my creativity :p

@ann: i look like olive oyl, a bit more on the thinner side :p i'm sohini, and i am blog hopping today :D

Anonymous said...

blog hopping? :O
Ami manush hopping!
btw Ann Dee ki weird naam!
Tere naam hamne
kiya hai
Jiban apna sara sanam. :|
Hahlululululu

olive oyl said...

the song did not have the hulululu part.
it was: la la lalaaaaa..

Anonymous said...

funny :D

Anonymous said...

amay onno kono anonymus nokol korchhe!!!!Uaaaaaaaaaa. :(

olive oyl said...

eh shotyi? i was happy with one anonymous, but two.. :|
are you both handsome lads?

Anonymous said...

I am a handsome hunk. :|
But the other anonymous is a roly-poly fat beast. :O

olive oyl said...

bloody parasites. go and bug some other blog for my weight's sake leave me alone. :|

Anonymous said...

Im not a roly-poly fat beast! :x

Anonymous said...

Yes u r!

Anonymous said...

No im not!

Anonymous said...

Yes u r!

Anonymous said...

No im not!

Anonymous said...

yes u r!

Anonymous said...

No im not!

Anonymous said...

yes u r!

Anonymous said...

No im not!

Anonymous said...

yes u r

Anonymous said...

No im not!

Anonymous said...

Ok. So Ann dee is a fat beast. ok? :)

Anonymous said...

0k. agreed. :)

olive oyl said...

:O

fine, enough. aar noy :O ebar lokjon amae juto marbe.

Anonymous said...

setae toh ami chai!

olive oyl said...

gandu shala.

Anonymous said...

chudun maal! :x

Lost within myself said...

I read your post..finally..it's as hilarious as I expect from your keyboard! But the comments are no less! you should thank the ppl for making it even more interesting!
What an entertainment!

olive oyl said...

tell me about it. even i feel thoroughly entertained :p